A Friend Like You

A Friend Like You

A sing-a-long about the importance of having community

A Friend Like You

Right now, the world seems to be remembering the importance of community. Through community, we create connection and through those connections we find comfort, hope, and support. For over 25 years, Tu Nidito has been an integral part of supporting Tucson as the only agency in Southern Arizona providing support to children, families and young adults who are grieving the death of a loved one or the diagnosis of a serious medical condition. Through our mission, Tu Nidito has its own very special community.

The generosity of our Tu Nidito community helps grieving children thrive as we march towards fulfilling our vision: that no child grieves alone. From support group facilitators to members of the Board of Directors; faithful donors to Remarkable Mom honorees . . . Each of you are considered friends of Tu Nidito and we are humbled to be connected and united with you under one mission.

A dear friend of Tu Nidito is Bruce Phillips. For many years Bruce has been bringing comfort and joy to Tu Nidito through his love for music. With just one strum of his guitar, our hearts feel lighter and full of love. Bruce’s version of the song Friend Like U by Geoff Moore is a great way to express our mutual connection to Tu Nidito’s mission. We need each other and there is no way we would all make it alone!  It’s so good to know Tu Nidito has friends like each and every one of you.

Now more than ever, we see how important it is to stay connected to friends, family, and yourself as you may be navigating a unique journey through grief. If you haven’t already, visit the following posts on our blog. They’ll provide you with tools and activities to find a sense of community and connectedness in the midst of grief, even from home:
 

Un amigo como tu

Ahorita, el mundo parece estar recordando la importancia de la comunidad. Por medio de la comunidad, creamos conexiones y mediante estas conexiones encontramos confort, esperanza y apoyo. Por mas de 25 años, Tu Nidito a sido parte integral de apoyo a Tucson al ser la única agencia en el sur de Arizona que provee apoyo a niños, familias y jóvenes adultos que están pasando por duelo de la muerte de un ser querido o el diagnostico de una enfermedad seria. Por nuestra misión, Tu Nidito tiene su misma comunidad espectacular. 

La generosidad de nuestra comunidad de Tu Nidito ayuda a niños afligidos a prosperar mientras marchamos para cumplir con nuestra misión: Ningún niño sufre solo. Desde nuestros facilitadores de grupo, miembros de nuestra Mesa Directivadonadores leales hasta Madres Remarcables homenajeadas…. Cada uno de ustedes es considerado amigo de Tu Nidito y nos sentimos honrados de estar conectados y unidos con ustedes bajo una misma misión.

Un muy querido amigo de Tu Nidito es Bruce Phillips. Por muchos años Bruce ha traído alegría y confort a nosotros por su amor de música. Con solo un rasgar de su guitarra, nuestros corazones se sienten iluminados y llenos de amor. La versión de Bruce de la canción Friend Like U de Geoff Moore es una manera especial de expresar nuestra conexión mutual a la misión de Tu Nidito. Nos necesitamos los unos a los otros, no hay manera de hacer esto solos. Se siente tan bien saber que Tu Nidito tiene amigos como cada uno de ustedes. Gracias.

Ahora mas que nunca, podemos ver la importancia de mantener conexiones con amigos, familia, y tu mismo cuando estás navegando una pérdida. Si aún no lo has hecho, visita las siguientes publicaciones en nuestro blog. Te darán técnicas y actividades para encontrar un sentido de comunidad y conexión en medio del dolor, incluso desde casa:
 

Be Kind Challenge

Be Kind Challenge

Online curriculum for children and families impacted by grief

If you have questions or would like guidance around this curriculum, contact us! We are still available by phone and email. Leave us a message and we will get back to you promptly.

(520) 322-9155 | [email protected]

Topic: Acts of Kindness

We can be our own worst critics sometimes, especially when we are grieving a special person’s serious medical condition or a death loss. When we are harsh on ourselves, self-compassion and kindness are nowhere to be found. During this present time, a time when life feels turned upside-down, it can feel very easy to justify diving head-first into the deep end of our grief and staying there. But if we take a quick moment to hold our heads above water, we see that kindness is still here. It’s written in chalk on the sidewalk by the families who live down the street. It’s friends, family and neighbors checking in on each other, asking what we need if we can’t leave our homes. It’s showing a re-run of the University of Arizona Men’s basketball team winning the NCAA National Championship in 1997 to make us cheer and remember what it’s like to feel a sense of togetherness. And once we see that external kindness, we can remind ourselves that we deserve similar, internal self-compassion. We can tell ourselves, “It’s ok that I stayed in my pajamas today; I’m grieving. “It’s ok that I cried for an hour this afternoon; I’m grieving.” “It’s ok that I’m irritated by every little thing today; I’m grieving.” Remember, our grief is not an excuse for our thoughts, emotions, and actions. It is, however, grace we can give ourselves as we remember to show ourselves compassion.

The Be Kind Challenge

This week, Tu Nidito officially accepted a challenge from Ben’s Bells Project to participate in the “Be Kind Challenge.” We want YOU to join us! The “Be Kind Challenge” paper chain activity can be done by anyone and from anywhere. It is a motivator that helps us practice intentional kindness to those around us and ourselves! Here’s how it works:

Supplies Needed:

  • Strips of paper for chain links – print online here or make your own!
  • Tape or a Stapler
  • Pens or markers

Steps:

  1. Download and print the “be kind challenge” chain links HERE so you can track your acts of kindness. Or, make your own by cutting an 5×11” piece of paper into 1”- 2” strips.
  2. Place blank chain links in an accessible location along with pens/markers and tape or a stapler.
  3. Practice and recognize intentional kindness! This can be something you do for yourself or others. Whether it’s running an errand for a neighbor, or showing compassion for yourself when you’re experiencing big emotions, record your acts of kindness throughout the day on the pre-cut strips, looping them together as a chain.
  4. At the end of each day, look at how your family’s chain has grown and reflect on the importance of each act of kindness completed. Display your chain for all to see.

Share your project with others:

Post photo updates of your kindness chain on Facebook! Tag Tu Nidito and Ben’s Bells Project, and use the hashtag #BeKindChallenge to share your acts of kindness with the world. You can challenge your friends and family to complete the #BeKindChallenge with you! Then, when we get through this season together, we will gather in one big celebration of community kindness to join our chains— imagine the chain we will create together!

Make your paper-chain using different colors!
Write notes in chalk for your neighbors!

Everyone can participate in this challenge! Here are some fun tips and ideas for the whole family to be kind together:

As a family, think of something kind you can do for your neighbors! Write kind notes and place them in mailboxes. Place drawings and encouraging signs in your windows for friends to see as they pass by your house.

Littles (3 ½ – 7), draw pictures that put a smile on your face! If they make you smile, they will definitely make others smile too!

Middles (8 – 12), write kindness notes to each person in your family. As they read the notes and you see them smile, you will probably feel pretty good too! Is there something you can do around the house to help someone else? Pick up toys? Tidy up a room?

Teens (13 – 18), keep in touch with your friends through text, phone calls or video-chat. Laugh with them and hang out, even if you can’t be in the same room. Write affirmations (feel-good notes) to yourself and your family members each day to remind all of you how wonderful you are.

Adults, write love notes to your kids and hide them in special or silly places. Write affirmations to yourself. Remember, you deserve just as much love and kindness as your kids.

We’d love to see what you’re doing to practice intentional acts of kindness!

Share your paper-chain creation with us by sending a picture of your artwork to [email protected]! And remember, we are available for support at (520) 322-9155.

Si tiene preguntas o necesita guía o apoyo, nos puede contactar a Tu Nidito al 520-322-9155 | [email protected].

Tema: Actos de amabilidad

A veces, podemos ser nuestros peores críticos. Especialmente cuando estamos afligidos por la
condición seria de una persona especial, o una muerte. Cuando somos duros con nosotros
mismos, la autocompasión y amabilidad no se pueden encontrar. Durante este tiempo, cuando la vida se siente al revés, puede ser muy fácil justificar irnos hasta lo más profundo de nuestro duelo y mantenernos ahí. Pero si tomamos un momento para mantener la cabeza en alto, podremos ver que la amabilidad, esta ahí. Está escrita con gis en la banqueta de una familia que vive al final de la calle. Son amigos, familia y vecinos que se cuidan a sí mismos, preguntando si necesitan algo si no pueden dejar su casa. Es pasar en la televisión al Equipo de Basquetbol de la Universidad de Arizona cuando ganaron el Campeonato del NCAA en 1997 para hacernos sentir un momento de unión. Una vez que vemos esa amabilidad en el exterior, podemos recordarnos a nosotros mismo que podemos cuidar de nosotros también. Podemos decirnos “Esta bien si me quedo en pijamas todo el día, estoy en duelo” “Está bien que llore por una hora esta tarde, estoy de duelo” “Está bien que cada cosita me molesta hoy, estoy en duelo”. Recuerda, nuestro duelo no es una excusa para nuestros pensamientos, emociones o acciones. Es, sin embargo, gracia que podemos darnos a nosotros mismos para recordarnos ser amables con nosotros mismos.

El Reto de Ser Amable (The Be Kind Challenge)

Esta semana, Tu Nidito oficialmente acepto el reto de Ben’s Bells Projects para participar en el reto de ser amable. Queremos que TU, te nos unas! La actividad para el reto de ser amables puede hacerse por todos, en todos lados. Es un motivador que nos ayudara a practicar actos de amabilidad intencional a aquellos alrededor de nosotros y nosotros mismos! Aquí es como funciona:

Materiales necesarios:

  • Tiras de papel para formar la cadena – imprime aquí o crea las tuyas!
  • Tape o engrapadora
  • Plumas o marcadores

Pasos:

  1. Descarga e imprime los eslabones de cadena del “Reto de ser amables” AQUI para que puedas documentar tus actos de amabilidad. O Puedes hacer los tuyos cortando una hoja de papel 8.5 X 11 en tiras de 1-2 pulgadas
  2. Pon los eslabones en blanco en una parte accesible junto con plumas/marcadores y tape/engrapadora.
  3. Practica y reconoce amabilidad intencional! Puede ser algo que hagas para ti mismo o alguien. Ya sea hacer un mandado para un vecino, o hacer algo por ti que te guste hacer cuando tienes muchas emociones. Documenta tus actos de amabilidad durante el día y conecta los eslabones, como una cadena.
  4. Al final del día, vean como la cadena de su familia ha crecido y reflexionen en la importancia de cada acto de amabilidad que completaron.

Comparte su proyecto con otros:

¡Pongan fotos de actualizaciones de sus cadenas en facebook! Etiqueten a Tu Nidito y Ben’s Bells Project y usen la hashtag #BeKindChallenge para compartir sus actos de amabilidad con el mundo. Rete a su familia y amigos a completar el #BeKindChallenge con ustedes. ¡Después, cuando pase esta temporada, nos juntaremos a una gran celebración de amabilidad y juntaremos nuestras cadenas- Imaginen la gran cadena que crearemos juntos!

Use papel de muchos colores
Escriba notas con tiza por sus vecinos

¡Todos pueden participar en este reto! Aquí hay algunas ideas que pueden hacer como familia para ser amables juntos:

¡Como familia, piensen que pueden hacer por sus vecinos! Pueden escribir notas y ponerlas en sus buzones. Pueden hacer dibujos o palabras alentadoras y ponerlas en su ventana para que sus amigos los vean cuando pasen por su casa.

Pequeños (3 ½ – 7), Hagan dibujos que les pongan una sonrisa en su cara! Si te hacen sonreír, de seguro harán sonreír a otros.

Medianos (8 – 12), Escribe notas de amabilidad para cada persona en tu familia. ¡Cuando lean las notas y los veas sonreir, eso te hara sentir bien! ¿Hay algo que puedas hacer en la casa para ayudar a alguien? Recoger juguetes? Limpiar un cuarto?

Adolescentes (13 – 18), Mantente en contacto con tus amigos por medio de texto, llamadas o video-llamadas. Ríete con ellos, aunque no estén en el mismo cuarto. Escribe afirmaciones (notas que te hagan sentir bien) para ti y tu familia cada día para recordarles lo maravillosos que son.

Adultos, Escribe notas de amor para tus hijos y escóndelas en lugares especiales o curiosos. Escribe afirmaciones sobre ti. Recuerda, tu mereces igual o más, la cantidad de amabilidad.

¡Nos encantaría ver sus actos de amabilidad!

Comparte con nosotros mandando una fotografía de tu arte a [email protected]! Y recuerda, estamos disponibles para apoyarte al (520) 322-9155.

Caring for the Niche: Tu Nidito’s Young Adult Bereavement Support Group

Caring for the Niche:

Tu Nidito’s Young Adult Bereavement Support Group

This is Serena Sahajian. In 2013, Serena’s mother died after fighting brain cancer for 9 months. A film student at the time and in the wake of her grief, she sought services at the University of Arizona’s Counseling and Psych Services center (CAPS). Her therapist referred her to Tu Nidito’s Young Adult Bereavement Support Group. With much hesitation, Serena called Tu Nidito and, for the first time, told a complete stranger that her mother died. She recalls being received with gentleness and warmth. The Young Adult Bereavement Support Group is a safe space for young adults ages 18-29 to receive support, care, and comfort after experiencing the death of a loved one. It is a welcoming environment where young adults can share stories, engage and connect with others, learn healthy coping skills, and ultimately find hope and support through their grief journey. The group meets twice monthly near the University of Arizona campus. It was within this new community that Serena found the comfort and support she needed as she navigated the challenges of grief.

Years later, Serena decided it was time to give back to the community that had given so much to her. After considering her progress along her grief journey, she felt prepared to do so. Since then, Serena has gone from Tu Nidito volunteer, to part-time staff, to her current position as a full-time Support Specialist. Her role now includes the task of facilitating the Young Adult Bereavement Support Group. As fate would have it, Serena has come “full-circle,” guiding the group that she became a part of years prior.

Serena explains that young adults can become particularly lonely and isolated in their grief. “Bereaved young adults are a niche in our society who are all too easy to overlook; They’ve often moved away from home and have yet to form attachments in a new community,” she notes. Their support system may be weak and inadequate. Therefore, this particular support group fills a genuine need here in Tucson.

But, what if a young adult isn’t able to attend a formal support group? Those individuals are welcome to join us for Tu Nidito’s Gathering for The Grieving. Bereaved young adults can come have a casual meal or simply share space with fellow grievers. There will be no pressure to share explicitly about their grief at the event. This series will begin in the Summer of 2020 and occur quarterly.

Serena wants young adults who may consider joining the support group or attending a future Gathering to know that there is a space for them. They don’t have to be “okay,” and other people will understand that because they’re not okay either. The stigma surrounding the expression of grief in our culture is, in a word, exhausting. It’s tiresome to hold in your thoughts and to feel as if you can’t be open about what you’re experiencing. That is why this work is so essential. It’s the “profound moments” that keep Serena going; When someone shares their death loss with the group for the first time, or sheds tears in the company of understanding friends; When someone poses a fear that they face and everyone else nods in agreement, as if saying, “I feel that, too.” It is our hope here at Tu Nidito that the profound moments will continue, especially as we expand our reach into the community to ensure that no child, no family, and no young adult grieves alone.

For more information regarding the Young Adult Bereavement Support Group or the upcoming Gathering for The Grieving series, contact Serena at [email protected] or call (520) 322-9155.

 

Pictured above are family photos provided by Serena. In the first, Serena is pictured with her mother Julie, holding a small puppy together. The second is a photo of Julie looking out into the ocean, holding Serena’s brother in her arms when he was a baby. 

Directing Your AZ Tax Credits

DIRECTING YOUR AZ TAX CREDITS

Did you know that you can direct your Arizona tax dollars to organizations like Tu Nidito?

Tu Nidito is a qualifying charitable organization, meaning the money you would otherwise pay in state taxes can benefit grieving children right here in Southern Arizona. That’s right! By donating to Tu Nidito, you may be able to reduce, dollar-for-dollar, what you pay in Arizona State income tax or increase your refund. Keep your tax dollars local by giving to qualifying charitable organizations whose missions are personally meaningful to you! Couples who file jointly can receive up to $800 back on their state taxes; individuals can claim up to $400.

A gift to Tu Nidito ensures your tax dollars are hard at work providing a safe place for grieving children to heal.  Choose to invest your tax dollars in our local community to help ensure that no child grieves alone. Here are some examples of what your gift can do:

  • $400 will provide an entire year of group support for a child who is grieving the death of a loved one.
  • $800 provides 3 months of one-on-one support to a family whose child has a serious medical condition. Services are provided by a Tu Nidito support specialist for parents, the diagnosed child, and any siblings.

Need more information? Visit the Arizona Department of Revenue  or consult a tax professional.

Tu Nidito Tax ID: 86-0769031. Qualifying Charitable Organization Code: 20617.

Camp Opportunities in Arizona

Looking for a camp that serves children impacted by serious medical condition and death? There are a number of organizations throughout the state of Arizona providing weekend and overnight camps for kids, teens and families. Discover a camp that meets your child’s needs!

Continue reading

Pieces of Grief – A Bereavement Activity

This is an activity that can be done with children of all ages that are dealing with grief related to the death of a loved one. It is great for a group setting or can be completed one on one.

Supplies Needed:

Medium Clay Pot
Hammer
Hot Glue
Sharpie Markers

Step One:

Place pot on a safe surface area. Carefully, break into pieces using hammer.

Step Two:

On the inside pieces of the pot, instruct children to write or draw the feelings that they have experienced since the death.

Step Three:

On the outside pieces of the pot, instruct children to write or draw their sources of support. Such as grief support group, friends, music or family.

Step Four:

Invite group or individual to share what they wrote on both sides of the clay pot.

Step Five:

Using hot glue gun, glue pieces of pot back together to make ‘whole’ pot again.

Step Six:

Once the pot has been put back together, discuss how this process is similar to the grief process. After a death, children may feel like they are broken, but with the help of good support systems, they can feel whole again.

Questions in a Can – An Activity for Children and Families Impacted by Illness and Death

“What happens if my special person dies?”

“Is my special person’s serious medical condition contagious?”

 “Where does someone go when they die?”

 “Was (name of special person) in pain when they died?”

When someone special in our life is diagnosed with a serious medical condition, it is normal to have questions about their treatment and prognosis. Similarly, when we experience the death of someone special, we have questions surrounding their death and about death in general. Sometimes these questions are uncomfortable to ask, so we refrain from asking. Some of our questions may not have answers, but it is still important to talk about them. Here at Tu Nidito, we like to use the “Questions in a Can” activity to talk about these questions.

Questions in a Can Activity:

On a slip of paper, write down any question you have related to your special person’s death or their serious medical condition diagnosis. Your questions are anonymous, so there is no need to feel judged and you can use additional slips of paper if you have more than one question. Designate a jar, can or cup for dropping in questions. Sit down as a family and pass the questions container and one at a time, choose a question. Read the question aloud and provide your best answer. If you do not have an answer to the question, that is okay; give other members of the family a chance to share their ideas and answers. Continue to pass around the container until all the questions have been pulled or until your family decides they want to stop.  The important thing is that each member of the family has a chance to respond or ask any questions about death or serious medical condition.

This activity can be modified to fit your family’s needs. For example, families can choose to complete the entire activity in one sitting. Or, if your family needs some time to brainstorm questions, leave the container out in a shared space in your home, along with blank slips of paper, so that family members can drop in questions as they come up. Designate a time, weekly or even monthly, to sit down together and answer the questions.