What to Expect at a Tu Nidito Support Group

Peer-To-Peer Support

Programs for families grieving the death of a loved one or a caregiver’s serious medical diagnosis

January 14, 2021

Tu Nidito’s grief support groups are currently being offered virtually, through Zoom video conferencing. While the way we meet is different, the heart of each meeting remains the same. Below, we’ll walk through each step of a virtual evening with Tu Nidito.

Why split up families into peer groups?

At Tu Nidito, we offer two types of support groups: 

  • For families who are grieving the death of a special person
  • For families when a parent or adult caregiver has been diagnosed with a serious medical condition.

In both of these support groups, we provide age-appropriate emotional support that meets the developmental needs of participants. We achieve this by dividing families into four separate sub-groups: Littles (ages 3.5 to 7), Middles (ages 8 to 12) Teens (ages 13 to 18) and Adults (parents and caregivers).

Who is a Group Coordinator?

Tu Nidito groups are run by staff members called Group Coordinators. We have four Group Coordinators on staff: Brigid, Diana, Kristin, and Serena. In addition to providing emotional support and community resources to families both during and outside of group nights, Group Coordinators also handle group logistics and oversee the volunteer facilitators.

Who facilitates the groups?

Facilitators are a very important part of Tu Nidito groups. They are trained volunteers and assigned to an age group so they can work directly with the children and adults. With the support of the Group Coordinator, they lead each part of the group evening: the rules, check-in, talking circle question, activity and closing. Our facilitators are made up of undergraduate students, young professionals, and retirees. 

What are the group rules?

Group Rules are a way for our group members to feel comfortable and safe. The rules are a bit different for each age group, but here are some of our important ones:

  • The “I Pass” Rule: You can always say “I Pass” if you are called on to share and you do not want to or are not ready.
  • Confidentiality: Anything you or anyone else says in group will remain private, unless there is concern of harm to yourself or others.
  • Talking Stick Rule, or “Taking Turns” Rule: Everyone will have an opportunity to share, uninterrupted.
  • Comparing Losses Rule: Everyone’s loss and experience with grief is different, therefore participants will not compare their grief or loss with someone else’s.
  • Advice Rule: We ask that each participant refrain from giving advice to their fellow group members, unless that person explicitly asks for advice.

How does a group begin?

Each night, we start our group with a check-in once we are in our Talking Circle Room. We do this with all age groups.

For bereavement support groups, participants say:

  1. Their name

  2. The name of their special person or people who died

  3. How they died

  4. How they are feeling that night

For support groups for families impacted by a caregiver’s serious diagnosis, participants say:
  1. Their name

  2. The name of their family member with a serious diagnosis

  3. What the diagnosis is

  4. How they are feeling that night

During our groups, we utilize reflective listening, giving the person who is sharing the comfort of knowing they are been heard.

In the past, we used a Talking Stick that we would pass around the room, giving each person the opportunity to do their check-in. During Zoom groups, each person is called by name when it’s their turn to talk. 

What is a Talking Circle Question?

An example of a Talking Circle Question in our Littles group might be:

What do you wish you could say to your special person?

A Teen question might be:

Who told you when your special person died? Did someone provide comfort to you at that time? 

The questions provide a path for everyone to feel safe in exploring their feelings and finding common ground with others.

Adults also have their own Talking Circle Question and discuss what their children are being asked so that they can continue talking about the subject as a family if they wish.

What sorts of activities do you do during group?

There are many important things we can do when we are grieving or experiencing the impacts of a diagnosis. At Tu Nidito we might draw or sketch images of our feelings, write letters to the person who died, or to the serious medical condition itself. We read books and play games to have fun and feel validated. We learn coping skills to calm our bodies and minds, such as deep breathing. Every group is something different, which means there’s always something new to do!

How does a group night end?

At the end of each group night, we will take a few moments to honor and celebrate any birthdays, death anniversaries, or other special days that might be coming up. Afterwards, we typically hold hands and pass around a “love squeeze” as a way for everyone to take home all of the love, comfort, hope, and support that they received from each other that night.

Since we now meet on Zoom, everyone puts their hand up towards their camera and on the count of three, we all squeeze our hands into fists and say “I got it,” signifying that each person “got” all that love and warmth. This tides us over until the next time we get to meet again.

Volunteering with Tu Nidito

Do you have questions about our support groups?

Give us a call at (520) 322-9155 or email us at [email protected]

Que esperar en los grupos de apoyo de Tu Nidito

Programas para familias pasando por la muerte de un ser querido o el diagnostico de una enfermedad seria de un cuidador.

14 de enero 2021

Los grupos de apoyo para el duelo de Tu Nidito actualmente son ofrecidos virtualmente por medio de videoconferencias de Zoom. Mientras que la forma en la que nos juntamos es diferente, el corazón de cada reunión se mantiene igual. A continuación, repasaremos cada paso de un grupo virtual con Tu Nidito.

Porque separamos familias en grupos por edades?

En Tu Nidito, ofrecemos dos tipos de grupos de apoyo:

  • Para familias que estan pasando por duelo de la muerte de una persona especial.
  • Para familias cuando un padre o cuidador ha sido diagnosticado con una condicion medica seria.

En ambos grupos de apoyo, proporcionamos apoyo emocional de acuerdo a la edad para satisfacer las necesidades de desarrollo de cada participante.      Logramos esto dividiendo a las familias en 4 sub-grupos: Pequenos (edades 3.5 to 7), Medianos (edades 8 to 12) Adolescentes (edades 13 to 18) y Adultos (Padres y cuidadores).

Quienes son los Coordinadores de Grupo?

Los grupos son manejados por personal de Tu Nidito llamados Coordinadores de Grupo. Tenemos custro Coordinadores de Grupo son: Brigid, Diana, Kristin, and Serena. Ademas de proporcionar apoyo emocional y recursos en la comunidad para familias durante y fuera de los grupos de apoyo, los Coordinadores de Grupo también manejan la logística de cada grupo y supervisan a los facilitadores voluntarios.

Quienes facilitan los grupos?

Los facilitadores son una parte muy importante de los grupos de Tu Nidito. Son voluntarios entrenados y asignados a cada grupo para que puedan trabajar directamente con niños y adultos. Con el apoyo del Coordinador de Grupo, ellos encabezan cada parte de la noche: Las reglas de grupo, la presentación, las preguntas de la noche, actividades y clausura. La mayoría de nuestros facilitadores son estudiantes, jóvenes profesionales o jubilados.

Que son las reglas de grupo?

Las reglas de grupo son una manera de que los miembros de nuestro grupo se sientan a gusto y seguros. Las reglas son un poco diferentes para cada grupo, pero aquí están unas que son las mas importantes:

  • La regla “Yo paso”: Tu siempre puedes decir “Yo paso” si eres llamado a hablar pero tu no quieres o no te sientes listo.
  • Confidencialidad: Todo lo que dices en el grupo o lo que los demas dicen en el grupo se mantendra privado, al menos que haya una preocupacion acerca de lesiones a ti mismo o contra alguien mas.  
  • La regla “La varita para hablar” o “Tomar turnos”: Todos tendran la oportunidad de hablar sin ser interrumpidos.
  • La regla de comparar perdidas: La experiencia de cada persona con el duelo es diferente, por lo tanto, los participantes no comparan su duelo y perdidas con la de los demás
  • Regla de consejos: Le pedimos a cada participante que se abstengan de ofrecer consejos a los demas participantes del grupo al menos que la persona, abiertamente, pida consejo.
  • The “I Pass” Rule: You can always say “I Pass” if you are called on to share and you do not want to or are not ready.
  • Confidentiality: Anything you or anyone else says in group will remain private, unless there is concern of harm to yourself or others.
  • Talking Stick Rule, or “Taking Turns” Rule: Everyone will have an opportunity to share, uninterrupted.
  • Comparing Losses Rule: Everyone’s loss and experience with grief is different, therefore participants will not compare their grief or loss with someone else’s.
  • Advice Rule: We ask that each participant refrain from giving advice to their fellow group members, unless that person explicitly asks for advice.

Como empieza el grupo?

Cada noche, empezamos el grupo con una presentacion una vez que estamos en nuestros cuartos. Hacemos esto en todos los grupos con todas las edades.

Para grupos de apoyo de duelo, los participantes dicen:

  1. Su nombre
  2. Nombre de su persona especial o personas especiales que murieron
  3. Como murieron
  4. Como se sienten esa noche

Para grupos de apoyo para familias con un padre o cuidador impactado por el diagnostico de una enfermedad seria, los participantes dicen:

  1. Su nombre
  2. Nombre del miembro de su familia con la enfermedad seria
  3. Cual es el diagnostico
  4. Como se sienten esa noche

Durante nuestros grupos, utilizamos escucha reflectiva, dandole a la persona que esta compartiendo, la comodidad de saber que estan siendo escuchados.

En el pasado, utilizábamos la varita para hablar que pasábamos alrededor del grupo, dándole a cada persona la oportunidad de hacer su presentación. Durante nuestros grupos en zoom, cada persona es llamada por su nombre cuando es su turno de hablar.

Que son las preguntas del grupo?

Un ejemplo de las preguntas del grupo para los pequenos puede ser:

Que deseas que le pudieras decir a tu persona especial?

Una pregunta para los adolescentes puede ser:

Quien te dijo que tu persona especial murio? Alguien te dio confort en ese momento?

Las preguntas abren camino para que todos se sientan seguros al explorar sus emociones y crear un terreno comun con otros.

Los adultos tambien tienen sus preguntas de grupo y discuten lo que sus ninos estan hablando en grupo para que puedan continuar estas conversaciones como familia cuando gusten.

Que tipos de actividades se hacen durante el grupo?

Hay muchas cosas importantes que podemos hacer cuando estamos pasando por duelo o experimentando los impactos de un diagnostico. En Tu Nidito talvez dibujemos imagenes de nuestras emociones, talvez escribamos una carta a nuestra persona especial que murio o una carta directamente a la condicion medica. Leemos libros y jugamos juegos para divertirnos y sentirnos validados. Aprendemos habilidades de enfrentamiento para calmar nuestros cuerpos y mentes como respirar profundo. Cada grupo es algo diferente, lo que quiere decir que siempre hay algo nuevo que hacer.   

Como se termina la noche?

Al final de cada noche, tomamos un momento para honorar y celebrar cumpleaños, aniversarios de muerte, u otros días especiales que están por venir. Después, típicamente nos tomamos de las manos y nos damos un “apretón del amor” como una manera para que todos se lleven a sus casas todo el amor, esperanza, confort y apoyo que recibieron de cada uno esa noche.

Como ahora nos vemos en Zoom, todos ponemos nuestras manos en la cámara y a la cuenta de tres, apretamos nuestras manos y decirnos “lo tengo”, lo que significa que cada persona “tiene” todo el amor, y calor de sus compañeros. Esto nos une hasta que nos vemos en la próxima vez.

Volunteering with Tu Nidito

¿Tiene preguntas?

 (520) 322-9155 | [email protected]

Making Plans for The Holidays

Making Plans for The Holidays

Preparing For The Holiday Season Following the Death of a Special Person

For Adults:

It’s no surprise that this holiday season will be different than most. Plus, when you’re grieving, the holiday season can cause feelings of discomfort as you navigate life without the presence of your special person. You and your children most likely have ideas for how you’re envisioning the holidays this year. We always encourage families to openly communicate with each other about their needs and wants and holiday plans are a great opportunity for this communication. Creating plans as a family, as well as individual plans, can create a sense of ownership and pride among all who are involved.

Discussion Questions:

Have you discussed holiday ideas and plans with your children this year?

If so, have these discussions shown you’re on the same or different pages?

If not, what has stopped you from having these conversations?  

Print or download our Holiday Planning Guide to help facilitate these conversations:

For Children and Teens:

Love is an incredibly special gift that we give to our special people and that they give to us. Love is a gift that lasts forever. To express your love for your special person, make a holiday card for them, celebrating their life and the love you shared together. You can fill your card with a writing of some kind (a message, poem, story, etc.) and/or with drawings. Display it somewhere in your home or keep it somewhere special.
For more resources or information about Tu Nidito’s grief support programs, please call (520) 322-9155. Additional tips and insights regarding grief and the holidays can be found here

Haciendo planes para los dias festivos

Planeando las festividades despues de la muerte de una persona especial.

Para Adultos:

No es sorpresa que esta temporada navideña sera muy diferente a otras. Ademas, cuando se esta pasando por duelo, los dias festivos puedan hacernos sentir incomodos mientras navegamos la vida sin la presencia de nuestra persona especial. Usted y sus niños puede que tengan una idea de como quieren pasar los dias festivos este año. Siempre alentamos a familias a que platiquen abiertamente acerca de sus necesidades y las festividades es una gran oportunidad para practicar comunicacion. Crear planes con su familia, al igual que planes individuales, pueden darle un sentido de posesion y orgullo a todos los que estan envueltos.

Preguntas de discusion:

 

A discutido con sus hijos acerca de los planes para los dias festivos de este año?

 

Si lo a hecho, estas discusiones le han enseñado si estan en la misma pagina o diferentes?

 

Si no lo ha hecho, que le a impedido tener esta conversacion?

 

 

Imprima o descargue nuestra Guia de Planificacion de las festividades para ayudarle a facilitar estas conversaciones:

Para niños y adolescentes:

Amor, es un regalo increiblemente especial que le damos a nuestra persona especial y que ellos nos dan. El amor es un regalo que dura siempre. Para expresar tu amor por tu persona especial, haz una carta navideña para ellos, celebrando su vida y el amor que ustedes compartieron. Puedes llenar tu carta con algun escrito como un mensaje, un poema, una historia, y/o un dibujo. Pon la carta en algun lugar de u casa o guardala en un lugar especial.

Para mas recursos e información acerca de los grupos de apoyo de Tu Nidito, llame al (520) 322-9155. 

Grief + The Holidays

Grief + The Holidays

Insights and Tips for the Season

Celebrating holidays can bring about many emotions, especially for those experiencing grief. Tu Nidito has created special Holiday Handouts, full of helpful tips and suggestions for navigating grief during the holidays. Below, you will find printable, downloadable handouts designed for:

Celebrar los dias festivos puede traer muchas emociones, especialmente para aquellos que estan pasando por duelo. Para preparar a los niños, familias y jovenes adultos de Tu Nidito para todo lo que viene con la temporada de dias festivos, estaremos distribuyendo folletos llenos de ideas y consejos. Abajo, usted encontrara folletos que puede imprimir o descargar para audiencias specificas:
 
Si usted necesita información sobre programas de Tu Nidito, contactanos a (520) 322-9155.

A Tu Nidito Family’s Story of Grief and Love

A Tu Nidito Family's story of Grief and love

Guest Writers: The Rubio Family

Like many holidays and milestones, Father’s Day can be tricky. For some, it brings a day of celebration and togetherness; for others, a poignant reminder of loss and grief. However you are heading into this weekend, we would like to invite you to express your feelings in a way that may be new to you. As a family, or individually, tell your story. Your story may be marked by beauty, pain, hope, sadness… It can be a glimpse of a moment, a feeling, or a whole lifetime. Whatever you write is worth expressing. Storytelling can happen through writing, drawing, or other art forms. You can choose to keep it to yourself, or share it with others. 

As an inspiring example to begin our storytelling this Father’s Day,  a Tu Nidito family is sharing about their personal grief journey. For the first time, Anita and her three children are spending this Father’s Day without their dad, Aaron. Thank you, Rubio family, for opening your hearts and sharing your story.

(Left to Right) Aaron, Carys (13), Daniel (11), Kyndra (8)
Drawing by Kyndra

My two oldest children, Carys and Daniel, have their father’s green eyes. Daniel has his dad’s mannerisms to the point where some of my family members still slip up and call him “Aaron” – his dad’s name. They were buddies. Even our youngest, Kyndra Joy, can impersonate some of her dad’s facial expressions like nobody else. All three of them have an amazing sense of humor that I absolutely love.

Last Father’s Day, their first gift to their “Dada” was a potato they’d drawn a silly face on and meticulously wrapped. It was followed by a t-shirt that read, “My favorite people call me Dad”. I’m not sure which gift Aaron loved more. Unbeknownst to us, that Father’s Day week would be the last time we would all live together with any semblance of “normalcy”. He and I had our struggles until, heartbreakingly, Aaron died by suicide only a few months later. 

Needless to say that for nearly the last 12 months, I have looked ahead to the month of June with a bit of a knot in my stomach. There has been uncertainty about how to approach this year – the kids’ first Father’s Day since their dad died. For us, however, there has been nothing more healing than sitting together sharing memories, whether that meant laughing together, crying together, or both. It is exactly why we have found the services at Tu Nidito to be so beneficial. The children and I each have a place there where we can speak Aaron’s name and dedicate some time to share special memories, talk about how our present lives are affected, and even consider things that may come up in the future. Most kids seem to recoil from the notion that there is anything that makes them too different from their peers. Losing a father to suicide is certainly not something that any of their school friends or family members could directly relate to. I credit this organization with giving my kids, and many like them, a safe place to identify and speak up about their true thoughts and feelings, which has played such a vital role in our family’s healthy healing over the many months we have been with them.

Carys, 13 years old

My dad and I shared a love for birds. For Christmas in 2018 I got a cardinal puzzle. It was 3-D, but the instructions were vague and unclear. My dad was very interested in this puzzle and helped me by looking it up online. He told me where each piece could go. We finished it and left it out for everyone to see. We were proud of it. My dad’s name was Aaron. He was a good dad, and I loved him.

Daniel, 11 years old

One of the things I miss most was Dad’s food. He made the best mac and cheese, that stuff was legendary and no other mac and cheese maker could compare. His super good meal was his biscuits and gravy; spicy and peppery, and the biscuits were perfection. And when he made chilaquiles, he would always let me cut tortillas into chip shapes before he fried them.

My dad was a great father, but after he died of suicide lots of things changed. I started to feel left out because I am the only boy in my family now. I also started wishing for him back, and I would try and remember what fun things we did when we were together. I still remember the silly reasons why he would scold us. Also I still remember the great foods he would make. But most importantly, he cared for me and my family.

Kyndra, 8 years old

My dad was so fun! His name was Aaron. He loved hound dogs, so we had three. Every night when I said goodnight, Dada would give me lots of high fives before giving me a poke in the belly. And the memory that keeps playing in my head is his goofy laugh, a really adorable laugh that lit up his whole face!

After hearing each of my children share some of their favorite memories about their father, we all sat surrounded by a flood of emotions. We still have a long road ahead of us as we experience many other firsts in life without him, but I am also confident that they- that we- will all be ok. As a mom that is doing my best to be present with them every day, I am also so proud of them for sitting with the pain long enough to make it to whatever is on the other side of it. I’ve been surprised a number of times at how such intense pain can actually be turned to thankfulness and joy. Of course they will never forget their father, that loss will forever be with them, but likewise, they will never forget these and other very special memories of him. For those close to our family, I would even reassure them that they should not be afraid to speak Aaron’s name to us, since he is never far from our thoughts anyway. We have all learned to press into our faith this year, embrace our own journey, and we have grown closer as a family than I ever knew possible.

– Anita Rubio

The following are examples of books that may be helpful for a child or teen that is grieving the death of a fatherly figure in their life. Each of these are available for purchase on Amazon. If you’re interested in checking out other reading materials related to grief from our library, give us a call at (520)-322-9155.

For Littles and Younger Middles (Ages 3.5 – 10):

The Heart and the Bottle by Oliver Jeffers (Philomel Books, Penguin, 2010)
Boats for Papa by Jessixa Bagley
Knock Knock My Father’s Dream for Me by Daniel Beaty
The Blue Roses by Linda Boyden
The Grandad Tree by Trish Cooke

For Older Middles and Teens (Ages 11-18):

Rebound by Kwame Alexander with illustrations by Dawud Anyabwile (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2018)
Mama’s Gonna Buy You a Mockingbird by Jean Little
Be Light Like a Bird by Monika Schroeder
We Are Okay by Nina LaCour (Dutton, 2017)

If you have questions about Tu Nidito’s services or need support following a medical diagnosis or death of a loved one, please contact us. 

La historia de Pena y Amor Por una familia de Tu Nidito

La familia Rubio

Como muchas festividades y metas, el Día del Padre puede ser difícil. Para algunos, trae un día de celebración y unión; Para otros, un doloroso recuerdo de perdida y duelo. Mientras te aproximas a este fin de semana, queremos invitarte a expresar tus emociones de una manera que puede ser nueva para ti. Como familia o como individuo, dinos tu historia. Tu historia puede estar marcada por hermosura, dolor, esperanza, tristeza… Puede ser un vistazo a un momento, un sentimiento o toda una vida. Lo que sea que escribas vale la pena expresarlo. Un cuentacuentos puede ser hecho mediante la escritura, dibujo u otras formas de arte. Puedes escoger quedártelo para ti mismo o compartirlo con otros.

Como un ejemplo inspirador para comenzar nuestra narración de cuentos este Día del Padre, le preguntamos a una familia de Tu Nidito que nos contaran su historia. Por primera vez, Anita y sus tres hijos estarán pasando el Día del Padre sin su papá, Aaron. Gracias a la familia Rubio por contarnos su historia.

(Izquierda a derecha) Aaron, Carys (13), Daniel (11), Kyndra (8)
Arte por Kyndra

Mis dos hijos mas grandes, Carys y Daniel, tienen los ojos verdes como su papá. Daniel tiene los gestos de su papá al punto que algunos familiares algunas veces le llaman “Aaron”- el nombre de su papá. Eran muy amigos. Incluso nuestra mas pequeña, Kyndra Joy, puede personificar algunos de los gestos faciales de su papá como nadie mas puede. Los tres tiene un sentido del humor que absolutamente amo.

El ultimo Día del Padre, el primer regalo para su “Dada” fue una papa en la cual habían dibujado una cara chistosa y que envolvieron meticulosamente. Fue seguida por una camiseta que decía “Mis personas favoritas me llaman Papá”. No estoy muy segura cual regalo le gusto mas a Aaron. Desconocido para nosotros, esa semana del Día del Padre seria la ultima vez que todos viviríamos juntos con una apariencia de “normalidad”. El y yo tuvimos nuestras dificultades hasta que, lamentablemente, Aaron murió por suicidio solo unos meses después. No hace falta decir que, por los últimos 12 meses, he estado esperando por el mes de Junio con un nudo en el estomago. Ha habido mucha incertidumbre acerca de lo que nos espera este año-Los niños en su primer Día del Padre desde que su papá murió. Para nosotros, sin embargo, no ha habido nada mas sanador que sentarnos juntos a compartir recuerdos, aun si eso significaba reír juntos, llorar juntos o ambos. Es exactamente el porque hemos encontrado los servicios de Tu Nidito tan benéficos. Los niños y yo tenemos un lugar donde podemos hablar de Aaron y dedicar tiempo para compartir momentos especiales, hablar de como nuestras vidas en el presente están afectadas e incluso considerar las cosas que nos esperan en el futuro.

La mayoría de los niños parecen retroceder ante la idea de que hay algo que los hace demasiado diferentes de sus compañeros. Perder a un padre por suicidio no es ciertamente algo que sus compañeros de escuela o familiares se pueden relacionar directamente. Le doy crédito a esta organización por darle a mis hijos y a muchos como ellos, un lugar seguro donde se pueden identificar y hablar acerca de sus verdaderos pensamientos y emociones, lo que ha jugado un rol vital en la sanación de nuestra familia en los muchos meses que hemos estado con ellos.

Carys, 13 años

Mi Papá y yo compartíamos el amor por los pájaros. Para Navidad en el 2018 agarre un rompecabezas de un Cardinal. Era en 3-D pero las instrucciones eran vagas y no muy claras. Mi Papá estaba muy interesado en el rompecabezas y me ayudo a buscarlo en el internet. El me dijo donde iba cada pieza. Lo terminamos y lo dejamos afuera para que todos lo vieran. Estábamos muy orgullosos de el. El nombre de mi Papá era Aaron. El era un buen padre y lo amaba.

Daniel, 11 años

Una de las cosas que mas extraño es la comida de mi Papá. El hacia los mejores macarrones con queso, esos eran legendarios y ninguna otra persona que hiciera macarrones se pudiera comparar. Su súper comida era los bísquets y salsa gravy; picosos y con mucha pimienta y los bísquets eran perfectos. Y cuando hacia chilaquiles, siempre me dejaba cortar las tortillas en forma de totopos antes de freírlos.

Mi Papá era un gran papá, pero después de que murió por suicidio, muchas cosas cambiaron. Empecé a sentirme fuera de lugar porque soy el único hombre en mi casa ahora. También empecé a desear que el regresara, y trato de recordar que cosas divertidas hicimos cuando estábamos juntos. Todavía recuerdo las razones por las que el nos regañaba. También recuerdo las grandes comidas que el solía hacer. Pero lo mas importante es que el cuidaba de mi y de mi familia.

Kyndra, 8 años

Mi Papá era muy divertido! Su nombre era Aaron. A el le encantaban los perros Hound, teníamos tres. Cada noche, cuando decía buenas noches, mi Dada y yo la chocábamos mucho antes de que diera un piquete en la panza. Y el recuerdo que sigue tocando en mi cabeza es su risa disparatada, una risa muy adorable que iluminaba toda su cara!

Después que cada uno de mis hijos terminaron de compartir sus recuerdos favoritos acerca de su padre, todos nos sentamos rodeados de muchas emociones. Todavía tenemos un gran camino por delante mientras experimentamos muchos “primeros” en nuestras vidas sin el, pero estoy segura que ellos-que nosotros- estaremos bien. Como Mamá se que estoy haciendo lo mejor por estar presente para ellos cada día, estoy orgullosa de ellos por sentarse con su dolor por un largo tiempo para lograr ir a lo que sea que este del otro lado. Muchas veces me he sorprendido de cómo un dolor tan intenso puede convertirse en agradecimiento y alegría. Por supuesto, nunca olvidarán a su padre, esa pérdida siempre estará con ellos, pero del mismo modo, nunca olvidarán estos y otros recuerdos muy especiales de él. Para aquellos cercanos a nuestra familia, incluso les aseguro que no deben tener miedo de decirnos el nombre de Aaron, ya que de todos modos nunca está lejos de nuestros pensamientos. Todos hemos aprendido a presionar en nuestra fe este año, abrazar nuestro propio viaje, y nos hemos convertido en una familia más cercana de lo que nunca creí posible.

– Anita Rubio

Los siguientes recursos pueden ser de gran utilidad para sus niños y adolescentes que están pasando por el duelo de la muerte de una figura paterna en sus vidas. Si está interesado en ver otros materiales para leer relacionados con duelo, nos puede llamar al 520-322-9155.
 
 
 
 

Si tiene preguntas acerca de los servicios de Tu Nidito o necesita apoyo después del diagnostico de una enfermedad medica seria o después de una muerte de un ser querido, por favor contáctenos.

Words of Support: Part 3

Words of Support

Part 3: A Special Video Series from Tu Nidito

In this third installation of a series of videos from Tu Nidito, our Assistant Program Director, Brigid Frasquillo, offers some tips and suggestions to consider given the restrictions and limitations in place due to the pandemic. Here are the questions Brigid begins to uncover:

  • How can I connect with a loved one who is hospitalized due to a serious medical diagnosis?
  • How can I memorialize and honor a loved one who has died? 

Responding to Children in the Wake of Community Tragedy

Helping children respond to tragedy

Tips & Suggestions

June 3, 2020

When tragedy of any kind occurs in our local or national community, the impact is profound. Our innate response is to protect ourselves and the people we love. Tu Nidito Children and Family Services is here to support our community’s children and families through their grief.

Children respond to tragedy by expressing their grief in varying ways, whether it is with fear and sadness, or with questions and confusion. Parents or caregivers may find it challenging to explain tragic events to children, but we encourage caregivers to be truthful and straightforward. Age appropriate honesty between caregiver/adult and the child is an essential part of the grieving process, leading to comfort and hope.

The following are some tips and suggestions for parents and caregivers of grieving children:

  • Respond together. Children observe the way that their parents handle situations. By sharing your feelings and thoughts, you are giving your child permission to do the same. This should, of course, be done in age/developmentally appropriate ways. Sharing the truth with them will build a foundation of trust as they continue to process their grief.
  • Encourage your child to ask questions and be as open and honest as possible. Your child may be feeling confused and unsafe. He or she might feel afraid that the event will happen again or happen to someone that they know. Use your child’s own language to explain feelings and validate what they express and are experiencing.
  • Be mindful in engaging with the media. While it may be tempting to stay up-to-date with the latest developments, try to avoid watching when your children are in the room. Violent imagery, descriptions, and constant replaying and retelling of the story might upset your child, adding to their fear and confusion. Consider how you might help your child engage with the news in helpful ways without overexposing them.
  • Find other outlets for your children to express themselves. This is especially helpful if your child is too young to put what they are feeling into words. Encourage drawing, painting, or playtime to allow them to show how they feel.
  • Try to stay in a routine if possible. You should not “bury your head in the sand” and ignore what has happened, but try to stick to your normal schedule. For example, maintain bath, dinner and bedtime as well as you are able.
  • Find a special way to commemorate those who have died. Attend (or virtually watch) a memorial service, or light a candle and explain to your child what those actions mean.
  • Let your child know that they can ask you anything at any time, whether it is in a day, a week, a month, or a year. Tragedy might spark your child’s thoughts on death and they may have questions down the road.
  • Reassure your child. Sometimes, children ask questions that you might not know the answer to. Try to reassure them that you do everything you can to keep them safe.
  • If you need additional support, please call Tu Nidito at 520.322.9155. We can refer you to the appropriate resources for help dealing with traumatic events and grief.

Reading with Friends… ANIMAL Friends!

"Little Beaver and the Echo"

Online curriculum for children and families impacted by grief

Theme: Supportive Loved Ones

When you are grieving a loss of health due to a serious medical condition or a loss of a loved one due to a death, surrounding yourself with loved ones who truly care and validate your feelings can feel very comforting. Right now, even though we can’t see many of our loved ones in person, we can still connect with them to receive the support we need.

Our friends at TRAK (Therapeutic Ranch for Animals and Kids) remind us that loved ones come in all forms. Animals can be some of the best friends we may ever have and they are great at bringing joy to our hearts. Follow along with Vanessa from TRAK as she reads Little Beaver and the Echo written by Amy MacDonald and illustrated by Sarah Fox-Davies. Thank you to Penguin Random House, the publisher of this story. Thank you, Vanessa and the TRAK team for introducing us to your goat friends!

We are still available by phone and email. Leave us a message and we will get back to you promptly.

(520) 322-9155 | [email protected]

Tema: Seres queridos

Cuando estas en duelo por la perdida de salud debido a una enfermedad seria o por la muerte de un ser amado, rodearte de seres queridos que realmente se preocupan y validan tus emociones se puede sentir muy confortante. En estos momentos, cuando no podemos ver a muchos de nuestros seres queridos, todavía podemos conectarnos con ellos para recibir el apoyo que necesitamos.

Nuestros amigos de TRAK (Rancho terapéutico para animales y niños) nos recuerdan que nuestros seres queridos vienen en todas formas. Los animales pueden ser nuestros mejores amigos y son fantásticos trayendo alegría a nuestros corazones. Sigue a Vanessa de TRAK mientras lee el libro Little Beaver and the Echo escrito por Amy MacDonald e ilustrado por Sarah Fox-Davies. Gracias a Penguin Random House, los editores de esta historia. ¡Gracias a Vanessa y TRAK por presentarnos a tus amigas cabras!

Si necesitas apoyo, estamos disponibles! Deja un mensaje y nos pondremos en contacto con usted.

 520-322-9155 | [email protected].

Words of Support: Part 1

Words of Support

Part 1: A Special Video Series from Tu Nidito

From our “Little Nest” to yours, we hope you are finding the comfort and support you need during these difficult times. In this first installation of a series of videos from Tu Nidito, our Assistant Program Director, Brigid Frasquillo shares some words of wisdom for those who are grieving during the COVID-19 pandemic:

Changing the Channel

Changing the Channel

Online curriculum for children and families impacted by grief

If you have questions or would like guidance around this curriculum, contact us! We are still available by phone and email. Leave us a message and we will get back to you promptly.

(520) 322-9155 | [email protected]

Start by following along with Diana as she reads In My Heart: A Book of Feelings written by Jo Witek and illustrated by Christine Roussey. Thank you to Abrams Children’s Books for their permission to read this book!

Changing the Channel

An Activity for All Ages

We all have so many different feelings. Sometimes we can experience positive feelings and sometimes we can experience challenging feelings. When challenging feelings take over, it can be hard to enjoy our days or fall asleep at night. Remember, we are the ones in control of our feelings so we can change them when we need to.

When you watch TV, you can control what you watch by changing the channel. When we want to experience positive feelings, we can “change the channel” in our minds by thinking of things that make us feel calm, happy, safe, and loved.

Supplies Needed:

Steps:

  • Print 2 of these TV coloring sheets (or draw your own on a blank piece of paper).
  • Think about challenging feelings that you experience. If you need any help naming your feelings, look at this Feelings Chart.
  • On the first sheet, draw a scene with your challenging feelings. Drawing your challenging feelings allows you to acknowledge them and get the out of your mind and body.
  • Now, think about positive feelings that you want to experience. Again, see the Feelings Chart for help!
  • On the second sheet, draw a scene with those positive feelings. This positive scene should make you feel calm, happy, safe and loved.

When you are having a tough day or if you are having trouble falling asleep, change the channel in your mind. Close your eyes and picture the second scene that you drew of your positive feelings.

Adults and Caregivers:

All it takes is a shift, big or small, to alter our perspective about certain moments or experiences. Navigating life after a loss of health or a loved one’s death is complex enough, but when we add in the current state of things with the COVID-19 pandemic, it can feel much more complicated.

The article Change Your Perspective to Change Your Life by Steven Petrow, a contributor at The New York Times, describes how writing helps create a shift in perspective. When we write, we put our most complicated thoughts and feelings into words, creating an opportunity to better understand complex perspectives. Writing is also healing. Even if it doesn’t help us fully make sense of our thoughts and emotions, it allows us to externalize them and find a sense of peace.

We know that your days and nights are beyond busy and stressful right now, but when you find yourself with a magical spare moment, we encourage you to write about your experiences, thoughts and emotions. We hope this practice will bring you comfort or help shift your perspective.

We’d love to see how you are changing the channel!

Share your creation with us by sending a picture of your artwork to [email protected] or posting a picture with the hashtag #TuNiditoArt! And remember, we are available for support at (520) 322-9155.

Si tiene preguntas o necesita guía o apoyo, nos puede contactar a Tu Nidito al 520-322-9155 | [email protected].

Empieza esta actividad siguiendo a Brigid mientras lee In My Heart: A Book of Feelings (Así es mi Corazón) escrito por Jo Witek e ilustrado por Christine Roussey. Gracias a Abrams Children’s Books por su permiso para leer este libro!

Cambiando el Canal

Una actividad para todas las edades

Todos tenemos diferentes emociones. A veces podemos experimentar emociones positivas y a veces podemos experimentar emociones desafiantes. Cuando emociones desafiantes nos inundan, puede ser difícil disfrutar nuestro día o poder dormir. Recuerda, nosotros somos quienes controlamos nuestras emociones y podemos cambiarlas cuando necesitemos. 

Cuando vez televisión, tu puedes controlar lo que vez cambiando el canal. Cuando queremos experimentar emociones positivas, podemos “cambiar el canal” en nuestras mentes al pensar en cosas que nos hacen sentir calmados, felices, seguros y amados.

Materiales necesarios:

Pasos:

  • Imprima dos hojas de colorear con la televisión (o dibuja dos televisiones en una hoja de papel en blanco)
  • Piensa en tus emociones desafiantes. Si necesitas ayuda nombrando tus emociones, revisa la grafica de emociones!
  • En la primera televisión, dibuja una escena con unas emociones desafiantes. Dibujar tus emociones desafiantes te permite reconocerlas y sacarlas de tu cuerpo y mente.
  • Ahora, piensa en tus emociones positivas que te gustaría experimentar. Otra vez, revisa la grafica de emociones.
  • En la segunda televisión, dibuja una escena con tus emociones positivas. Esta escena positiva te ayudara a sentirte calmado, feliz, seguro y amado.

Cuando estas teniendo un día pesado o si estas teniendo problemas para dormir, cambia el canal en tu mente al imaginar tu escena de emociones positivas.

Adultos and Cuidadores:

Todo lo que toma es un cambio, grande o pequeño para alterar nuestro perspectivo acerca de cierto momentos o experiencias. Navegar por la vida después de una pérdida de salud o la muerte de un ser querido es lo suficientemente complejo pero si agregamos el estado actual de las cosas con la pandemia, puede parecer mucho más complicado.

El articulo “Por qué escribir un diario te aporta bienestar” redactado y avalado por la psicopedagoga María José Roldán, nos explica como escribir nos ayuda a pensar con claridad, tener un bienestar emocional y nos ayuda a aliviar el estrés

¡Nos encantaría ver que es lo que haciendo para cambiar el canal!

Comparte con nosotros mandando una fotografía de tu arte a [email protected] o ponla en Facebook usando el hashtag #TuNiditoArt! Y recuerda, estamos disponibles para apoyarte al (520) 322-9155.