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She has been struggling wearing her oxygen mask and tank for a couple of months now. During one visit, though, our Support Specialist introduced her to Mr. Monkey and Elf, pictured left.

Mr. Monkey and Elf are the best of friends, and Elf helps take care of Mr. Monkey, who has a congenital heart disease just like the 11-year-old client. Mr. Monkey has also been struggling with wearing his oxygen tank and has to go to the hospital because of it.

Elf always asks Mr. Monkey why he doesn’t wear his oxygen tank, and Mr. Monkey never shares why, he just ignores Elf. This makes Elf frustrated and sad because all Elf wants is to keep Mr. Monkey healthy by wearing his oxygen tank.

Our Support Specialist had the client draw on Mr. Monkey what she believes Mr. Monkey feels inside that he doesn’t share with Elf. She drew a broken heart as well as an oxygen tank for Mr. Monkey.

Our Support Specialist asked the client why she thinks Mr. Monkey doesn’t wear his oxygen tank. She replied, she thinks he doesn’t wear it because he is embarrassed to wear it in front of other people. He is embarrassed of what other people might think or say about him. Our Support Specialist asked the client if she felt like Mr. Monkey too. She said yes.

Elf explained to the client and Mr. Monkey that they shouldn’t feel embarrassed about wearing their oxygen tank because it’s what helps keep them alive and healthy and that if people have questions, and they are comfortable answering them, they can tell people why they have to wear their oxygen tank.

Elf then asked Mr. Monkey if it would be helpful for Mr. Monkey to wear his oxygen tank if after every successful day/night, he would get a sticker the next day as a reward. Mr. Monkey loved the idea and asked the client if she would want to do this too, and she said yes. The Patient asked our Support Specialist what happens when she gets 100 stickers. The Support Specialist said maybe after 100 stickers, the client’s parents could give her a prize such as ice-cream or a toy.

The client and Mr. Monkey picked out their stickers from the art room and said they would try this out in hopes that this would help them wear their oxygen tanks more often.

“Hi everyone! I’m Logan Lazarus and I’m very happy to be here. The charity I chose is called Tu Nidito – an incredible organization based here in Tucson.

My grandma has been volunteering with this charity for many years and has even been given one of Tu Nidito’s highest honors – the remarkable mom award. What this organization does is extremely special, very unique, and fulfills a true need here in our community – helping ensure that anyone who is suffering or grieving is not alone.

When my grandmother was only 10 years old, she lost her father very suddenly to a heart attack. This traumatic event really affected her and took a huge toll on her and her family, especially because she was so young. Years later my grandma also lost her husband very suddenly – my grandpa who I never met and am named after. My mother was still in college and his death impacted the whole family in such a major way.

Tu Nidito has helped hundreds of families with their mission: That no child grieves alone. The grieving process is extremely difficult to overcome in any situation, but even harder when it’s sudden or traumatic. Tu Nidito provides a nest – a support system to help families during these unimaginable times. With amazing people on hand to help and programs designed to guide everyone through the grieving process, Tu Nudito is a safe, loving place where children, teens, young adults, and families can find comfort, hope, and support while they are grieving the diagnosis of a serious medical condition or the death of a loved one.

Thanks to my Grandma I already knew how much this organization extremely benefits children in our community, but I visited Tu Nidito earlier this week wanting to learn more about this great organization. And my visit was truly impactful as I learned even more about how they help people who are suffering or grieving.

At Tu Nidito, they offer various programs to help every person deal with grief in the way that’s right for them. Programs are twice a week and are usually organized by age, with multiple volunteers assigned per group. When I visited I got to see all the amenities they offer and amazing features that Tu Nidito has. The building has many different rooms designed for all ages and tailored for different things depending on the person in need. For each program, the time is separated into two halves – some play time and some time to talk and connect with the children.

Most times, it is hard for little children to comprehend the death of a loved one and even harder for them to communicate what they’re feeling. So Tu Nudito created a room specifically for children ranging from 3-7 years old. In this room, Tu Nidito provides games and toys for the children to just have a safe space to relax and even play out their grief. Volunteers may use books and characters from a story to help children understand and process their feelings.

The middle room is for children ages 8-12 who spend time in the Talking Circle. This room also has an evening curriculum focusing on teaching new skills for coping and gaining a better understanding of the thoughts and emotions these kids are experiencing.

There is also a Teen room for kids ages 13-18. Teens have specific needs and these programs help grieving teenagers form friendships with others who are going through something similar. Tu Nudito helps provide these teens with a sense of safety and acceptance during what can be an isolating experience for an adolescent.

Tu Nidito also has other special rooms used for specific programs such as the Volcano Room, Imagination Room, and Art Room. The Volcano Room is very helpful for the children because when emotions build up and need to erupt, kids can spend time in the Volcano Room to blow off steam. In some situations, their special person has been murdered or has committed suicide and that can be extremely hard for anyone to overcome. The Volcano room allows the kids through physical movement and activity, to release complex feelings like anger, stress, frustration, and anxiety.

In the Imagination room and the Art Room, kids grieve more through behavior than words. Children can continue to process what they are feeling through imaginative play, drawing, or dressing up while knowing it is okay to still be a kid and have hope for their future. They can play out their grief in creative, therapeutic ways and know that Tu Nidito is a safe place.

Tu Nidito provides a truly unique service to Southern Arizona and their organization is extremely impactful for all the children who need a safe nest where they can openly grieve and express their emotions. Like any non-profit, they have a variety of needs, but all the money raised would directly support their ability to keep the rooms, equipment, volunteers and facilities at Tu Nidito going and growing so they can help more families and children. Tu Nidito runs 100 percent off of donations so this would help them in a major way.

Tu Nidito is such an amazing charity with such an impact on the families going through the most difficult times imaginable. You should vote for this incredible organization because its impact on children and families going through the most unimaginable times is so great. Through peer-to-peer interaction, guided discussion and age appropriate activities, families find comfort, hope, and support so that no child has to grieve alone.”

In response to a critical community need addressing the record cases of grief and loss due to the pandemic and resulting deaths from the virus and ripple effect of increased suicide and homicide deaths, Tu Nidito has developed a comprehensive training for school staff and a companion structured 8-week Grief group curriculum.

Amanda Marks MSW, Community Impact Director, describes the need for grief and loss training in the school setting, “The pandemic has drawn attention to grief and loss and how kids are grieving at school. Grief doesn’t have an on off switch, kids are bringing their grief to school. As Southern AZ’s grief and loss experts, Tu Nidito is available to help school personnel better support students during their grief journey. She continued, “one of our core values is – we respond – the pilot training helps us respond to our community’s unmet needs.  Equipping school staff with the tools and skills to facilitate a grief and loss group at their school increases a student’s accessibility to peer grief support, thereby helping to ensure that no one (student?) grieves alone”.

Tu Nidito completed the first pilot program for the Vail Unified School District, training 30 school counselors and student service coordinators, on the Tu Nidito model and how to implement best practices when facilitating a support group at their schools. The curriculum includes discussion topics and activities that focus on identifying and expressing emotions, developing coping strategies while at the same time decreasing feelings of isolation and building connections with other students.

Jill Wells, Family Resource Coordinator for the Vail School District, brought the training to the district and participated, she shared, “thank you for all the great information, I loved that you included reminders on how to talk and what to say, and that it takes practice and we should all be practicing.” Her team gave the training great praise saying they want more.

“We are inspired by the Vail Scholl District’s response to our Grief and Loss group training program,” said Liz McCusker, Executive Director, Tu Nidito. “We know the more we provide support, resources and education to our community the closer we come to our vision – No child grieves alone.”

Our partners at NPR dive deeper into the impact of grief and loss post pandemic:

Losing a parent in childhood is the kind of trauma that can change the trajectory of kids’ lives, putting them at risk of having symptoms of anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress and even poor educational outcomes. Yet few schools have resources in place to help kids going through this. The problem has come into sharp relief during the COVID-19 crisis, which left more than 200,000 kids newly bereft of a parent or primary grandparent caregiver, according to some estimates.

Read the article here

The air fills with laughter and joy as families arrive. Each family takes a turn  finding a spot on the table for their ofrenda. Memories come in all shapes: pictures, stuffed animals, shirts, pillows and flowers. Children go running to the playground, parents watch them from a safe distance. Through my lens I try to capture the beauty of joy from these  families, who I know are grieving. As I see them, I ask myself: who are they thinking of? Who was their loved one? Are they nervous to share? Or possibly looking forward to it?

When the Group Coordinator comes to the microphone, families take  their seats. The laughter from the children stops, opening the way to the anticipated nostalgia this night holds.

A poem is read, A Litany of Remembrance – We Remember Them by Rabbi Sylvan Kamens and Rabbi Jack Riemer.

Silence continues to fill the space until Bruce Phillips picks up his guitar, turning the silence into melody:

You’ve been taken from me, and I am still here.
Though you loved me I know so straight and so clear
And I feel like I’m dreaming, hold my hand through the night

And I’ll never forget you, but I’m scared that I might
You groaned at my jokes and you laughed at my songs
You made up great excuses when I did things wrong
And when you went away, you’d ask me along
Except for this last time……so long

Filled to the brim, filled to my eyes
Your heart and mine
You’ll always be with me
And I’ll see you sometime

Tu Nidito makes an impact on children who are diagnosed with a serious medical condition. In 2021, 71% of the children that came to Tu Nidito for services had been diagnosed with cancer. Through one-on-one support, those children and their families are given support in developing coping and age appropriate communication techniques and comfort from our Support Specialists.

This month, Tu Nidito has joined with other organizations across the nation by symbolically placing gold bows throughout our grounds in recognition of this month’s Childhood Cancer Awareness designation. We would like to share with you two poignant stories of children that came to Tu Nidito searching for support and comfort following their diagnosis.

“Cancer Doesn’t Dictate our Lives.”

A 6-year-old child came to Tu Nidito after relapsing for a third time with leukemia. After taking immunotherapy, she was again going to school and everything seemed well—until she relapsed for a fourth time at the age of 10 years old. At that point, she needed a Bone Marrow Transplant. Tu Nidito’s Support Specialist has followed one-on-one with this case and still provides support for the family including the donor of the Bone Marrow, her brother. Despite the uncertainty and the fear, the family has gone through, the mother doesn’t let this bring them down and shared inspiring words about their story:

“We refused to let this cancer dictate how we were going to live. How our child is going to live. We live life, you have to, you can’t let cancer or your child illness tell you how to live your life.”

“We are going to continue going on trips, we are going to show her a great time! We are making amazing beautiful memories with her and the family.”

“We couldn’t have done this without Tu Nidito, without our Support Specialist that works with my children. Knowing that whenever I needed support there is an organization that helps us grieve through this process.”

“Our child continues to do great. She is amazing and strong, we get our strength from her.”

Hope

A 9-year old child came to Tu Nidito in December 2021 after being recently diagnosed with Leukemia. When the new year, 2022 started she began to work one-on-one with her Support Specialist. She decided she wanted to concentrate on ONE word for the new year. She chose the word HOPE. Celeene was then encouraged to write a poem using this word and what meaning it had to her.

For three consecutive years due to the pandemic and her medical condition, she was unable to attend school in person. She is now finally able to return to school as a 5th grader. During her most recent one-on-one session with her Support Specialist, she was given a list of words that described nature and she was asked to choose one that symbolized her life and feelings it evoked. She chose the word Flower, and explained:

“Flowers start as a bud but then bloom into something new and beautiful. They are not afraid to let their colors show and they always show you the way towards happiness.”

Tu Nidito continues to bring support and comfort to children going through cancer or any other serious medical condition. Our one-on-one Support Specialists are here to help ease this process and to remind them that they are not alone. Learn more information about how our support programs for serious medical conditions can help you and your family by visiting https://tunidito.org/support-for-families/serious-illness/

*https://curesearch.org/childhood-cancer-statistics

Beyond these unique spaces, Tu Nidito’s support groups offer specialized curriculum to help children and teens acknowledge, understand, and process common emotions brought on by grief including sadness, guilt, anger, and uncertainty.  Recently, our program team and volunteers led an art activity that encouraged reflection about the special person in our life who died:

My Grief is Like…

Kids and teens then created their own unique piece of art using colors that represent their feelings and special people. While some were bright and cheerful, others were darker and somber; each piece unique and expressive.

If you are looking for an activity to help process grief, this activity can easily be done from the comfort of your home using art supplies such as paper, crayons, or paint.

Tu Nidito is a place of comfort, hope, and support for children and families experiencing grief. Learn more about our services here or call (520) 322-9155.